The purpose of psychotherapy, I am told, is to increase self-awareness – by becoming aware of who you are – you can begin to be proud of your strengths and work on your weaknesses. And in becoming self-aware you become more accepting of yourself and thus are more self-assured and able to taken on the challenges that you face in life.
I never understood this process before but now I do – and I wanted to tell you that I have found that this process works. It’s actually quite revolutionary and exciting!!! Of course, you don’t have to go into psychotherapy to increase your self-awareness – I wise man I know once suggested that for a week I could keep track of those things which consistently crop up, which were difficult for me, and spot the pattern or common denominator in all of these situations. And in doing so I would find out what I needed to work on in life (Of course, I can’t keep a track of anything, so I didn’t do it!)
But by writing this blog I have dramatically increased my self-awareness. I have managed to articulate to myself (and others) that I have difficulty with processing information, with memory, with problem solving and with most cognitive functions. But in doing so I have realised that none of this is my fault. It is quite simply out of my control. So if it takes me a long time to write a blog, to make dinner and I can’t quite ever understand what is going on in my diary, that’s OK. I don’t need to think I am stupid or be angry with myself.
Through this new understanding of myself I have come to learn the extent to which these difficulties are impacting on my life and thus have been very confident in my decision to seek medical help. And for people with an undiagnosed neurological conditions the process of self-awareness should send them straight to a professional’s door- a person who realises that they have an attention deficit (ie ADHD), periods of elation and also depression (ie bipolar), or that they have difficulty reading (ie dyslexia) and so on cannot work on their weaknesses by themselves – they need help (we all do from time to time). But of course, everyone can be healed through this process of self-awareness – if a person begins to realise that they are impatient or aggressive or judge too quickly – everyone has something – they can start to work on these negative character traits by trying each day to not be that way (and seek a professional’s help if the character trait is getting in the way of their life in an unacceptable way).
However because I have come to a new realisation about myself I can for the first time in my life be aware of my strengths. For example I now know that can write and I like doing it. I am persistent (according to an epilepsy Facebook group discussion this is a common characteristic of people with epilepsy) and I do care about other people. And in becoming aware of my strengths and understanding my weakness, I am more confident about myself, who I am and what I want out of life.
In other news
I am very excited about my appointment with my specialist neuropsychiatrist next week. Please g-d next week I will be able to give you some news – even if it is just a ray of light at the end of a very dark tunnel. ‘Fingers crossed’, as they say or to put it another way ‘I am appealing to The Infinite Power that Exists Out There to start to give me the answers that I have been looking for. I still am not seeing any benefits from my naturopathic medicine but on the other hand – it is still worth experimenting with it. It doesn’t cause any harm, and for some people it really helps.